Melanie

  De Jong

Melanie

  De Jong

Hey There, I’m Melanie! I am a former CPA turned personal finance blogger and mom of three. When you ‘Budget With Mel’, you’ll develop monthly budgets, cost-cutting tactics, and learn new behaviors and beliefs about money. It’s time you took the stress and confusion out of your personal finances.

Hey There, I’m Melanie! I am a former CPA turned personal finance blogger and mom of three. When you ‘Budget With Mel’, you’ll develop monthly budgets, cost-cutting tactics, and learn new behaviors and beliefs about money. It’s time you took the stress and confusion out of your personal finances.

5 Things I've Learned Going from Full Time Working Mom to (Mostly) Stay at Home Mom

melaniedj • Dec 16, 2019

In all honesty, I never saw myself rocking the stay at home mom life.

I declared early on that I was too driven, too ambitious and staying home with kids all day would drive me nuts.

However, right around when my son was six months old God started to place a calling on my heart that I couldn't run away from.

Though I didn't reveal this to anyone except my husband, I had been having constant internal conflict from the day I went back to work.

I would come home after working long days (especially during tax season) drained, irritable and with no physical or emotional energy to pour into my spiritual life, my husband, or my son.

It was defeating and I felt like a failure for not yearning for "something more" than motherhood as my calling.

My husband was left with a burnt out, spiritually starved, unfulfilled wife.

We made the decision that having me home was a priority for our family, and it was one of the best decisions we've ever made!

Here's what I've learned so far ;)

5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

 First I want to say that I understand there are many women who want to stay home but their finances or other situations tell them they just can't swing it.

 I'm NOT saying that if you are a working mom you can't understand the hardships and lessons of motherhood or that you're wrong.

 However, I DO believe that our culture has made being a stay at home mom something that isn't worth sacrificing or yearning for.

 Additionally, many times (not all the time) part of the problem is we don't want to let go of our lifestyle in order to stay home.

 This post is a brutally honest reflection of my personal experience going from a working mom to staying home a lot more!

1. SACRIFICIAL LOVE IS THE BEST LOVE

Raising children requires sacrificial love, and being home has given me one of the biggest lessons in sacrificial love. I've never respected my mom more in my life than I do now, because I get it.

Being a mom requires you to literally lay down your life day after day and become a servant.

 I have never experienced the kind of love I have for my child outside of parenthood.

 Although a pale reflection of the love that Christ has for us, my faith has reached a whole new spiritual realm in becoming a mother.

 Our son has always gone to bed around 7pm. Consequently, when he was in daycare five days a week, I had a meager 2 hours of time with him on week days.

Although I loved him unconditionally, I wasn't the one dealing with the 10th meltdown of the morning, the refusal to nap, or wiping his butt for the hundredth time.

I've learned more than I ever have in my life about the beauty of sacrificial love.

2. I REALLY DON'T MISS THE PAY

To be honest, I thought I would miss the extra money a lot more than I do.

 Sure, there are days when I think that it would be nice to have some additional income. I mean, who wouldn't?

 For many women, they have to weigh the cost of childcare and costs associated with being a working mom and many times it's almost a wash.

 For us, that wasn't the case. I made well more than the cost of childcare and other costs associated with being a working mom.

The pull on my heart to nurture and shepherd my children was much greater than the pull to pad our bank account a little more.

 God has been working on my heart and refining my character- I no longer desire accumulating as much money as possible.

 Yes, I OF COURSE want to be a good steward of the money he has entrusted us, but it doesn't consume me anymore.

 I haven't missed the pay like I thought I would.

3. EMPLOYEE'S ARE REPLACEABLE, MOMS ARE NOT

 I'm NOT saying this to knock on employers, but I've learned that every employee is replaceable.

A mom? You're irreplaceable .

 Of course there are great things mothers can learn and great habits we can develop from being both a mom AND an employee.

 The things I've learned as an employee have undoubtedly helped me in my motherhood journey.

However, my employer wasn't in disarray because I decided to not work as much. Life goes on. Other people are hired.

 Every employee is replaceable.

4. TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES GIVES YOU FREEDOM OF CHOICE

 Taking control of your finances allows you to live in financial freedom and happen to life, instead of letting life happen to you.

 When we were considering having me scale back at work, we had to take a major, detailed look at our finances and evaluate if it would be possible.

 Because we have been disciplined and have always only lived on one income (even when we were both working), it made the decision for me to stay home a lot easier.

 When you live below your means , you have wiggle room.

 How do we manage to do that? It's called a budget , m'friends!

 I know what you're thinking- a budget isn't going to change our lives.

I'd submit to you that a budget is one of the most powerful, life-changing tools in your financial toolbox.

Sign up for my free google sheets budget template and start crunching your own numbers. Take inventory (maybe for the first time) of where things are at.

5. STAYING HOME IS 10X MORE EXHAUSTING THAN GOING TO WORK

Being a stay at home mom is emotionally and physically exhausting.

There is no morning or afternoon break, I'm on the clock 24/7.

Being in the office, I can sit and stand when I please. I only worry about myself and my own work. If I want to run an errand or stop by a store to shop, I can do it in peace.

My world has been ROCKED now that I'm home more.

I didn't expect it to be this much more exhausting. Really.

But I can say beyond the shadow of a doubt, it is the most rewarding job I've ever had. Hands down. No questions asked.

The most difficult and rewarding job.

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