Using comparison as the trigger for your financial decisions is literally the difference between thriving and surviving. 

Do you ever look at social media and wonder how all these people seem to so effortlessly afford such a lavish lifestyle?

Does it make you wonder where you went wrong? 

I would argue that one of the reasons that many Americans have completely destroyed their financial well-being is because they let the power of comparison take over their lives.

We don't realize just how much our comparisons are affecting us financially.

Comparing myself to others (in many different ways) has always been one of my biggest struggles, and has been one of the most difficult hurdles I've had to overcome on my financial journey.

In fact, I still have to work at it DAILY , because it's a daily struggle of mine.

I'm going to be transparent here, I've have struggled and continue to struggle with comparison at almost every stage in my life.

I had to pay for my own school, and so I worked a couple different jobs while in school in order to provide for myself and be able to pay my tuition every semester. There were many kids whose parents would write a check for their tuition and then give them their credit card to live off of all year, and I would compare my situation to theirs.

This led me to wonder if I even belonged in college and thought about quitting or transferring on various occasions.

The problem was that I let others situations and things that were out of my control dictate my thoughts and emotions.

When we were dating I would compare our date nights to others, the gifts we got each other to others, how our Valentines Day was spent to others.

Here we are two broke college students and I'm upset that I'm not getting filet mignon because he obviously doesn't love me enough to empty his bank account.

Rational, right?

Looking back I'm glad that we didn't spend a ton of money on each other and that our date nights were pretty simple, because that allowed me to start paying on my student loans early (during the grace period) and get out of debt faster (See my post about How We Paid Off $20k in 12 Months ).

Then came marriage... and wedding planning.

I will only touch on this a little bit, as I have another post in the works that details both the cost of our wedding and how you can save on your wedding (or your child's wedding).

There was a point in wedding planning where I drank the kool-aide and thought that I had to have it all- the endless flowers, photo booth, you name it.

The truth is I realized that I was catching myself getting caught up in investing in a WEDDING rather than a MARRIAGE. 

You know what I remember about our wedding day?

The way Joe looked at me when I walked down the aisle and what people said to me.

That's it. 

I still struggle with comparing myself to others daily. 

The hard part is that you are not always conscious of when you are doing it. It becomes second nature, and that is the danger.

Comparison has the power to consume your thoughts, change your attitude, and affect your relationships, if you let it. 

I've learned a few things along the way that I remind myself of often. If you have the same issue that I do, write down the suggestions below and keep them somewhere that you will see them often!

Think about this and be honest with yourself.

Is comparison the driver for most of your financial decisions?

Do you put purchases on credit cards because you can't afford the purchase until your next payday? Is your car on payments because you can't afford to pay cash for it? Do you live on a budget or just spend frivolously and without restriction?

I would argue that most of these decisions stem from comparing yourself to others and thus living well above your means.

The simple answer is contentment.

Being content with where you are, with what God has given you,  right now.

This doesn't mean that you don't have goals and that you should settle with complacency. In fact, contentment has nothing to do with complacency, and everything to do with peace.

Content people do not have the best of everything, they simply make the best of everything. 

We hear this warning often enough, but it never really seems to stick.

Don't compare your real life to someone else's highlight reel on social media.

Reality is what is lost on social media.

You only see the things from other peoples lives that are worthy of posting a picture, and usually it's followed by the caption "#blessed." Cut the habit of comparing yourself while scrolling, and don't compare your real life to others portrayal of themselves on social media.

If you still have a hard time, limit your time on social media.

Spoiler alert!  There will ALWAYS be someone with a fancier house, nicer car, more expensive clothes, and better-behaved kids than you.  ALWAYS. 

Simply because someone has nicer things than you, does not mean they are better of than you are.

If you are not happy with a little, you will not be happy with a lot.

If your only motivation to work harder, smarter, and be more creative is to acquire more things, you will never be happy.

It will never be enough.

It's not about how big your house is,  it's about how happy your home is.

Many, many Americans live well above their means, so keep that in mind while scrolling through Facebook and Instagram.

Someone might have a much nicer car than you, but maybe they are sacrificing saving and investing every month because of their car payment. Or, maybe they really can afford it, and in that case, good for them!

Use that to inspire you to reach your own goals of paying cash for everything.

The point is you don't know if the Joneses are swimming in debt or not. According to statistics, there is a good chance they are.

Comparing yourself to others will be the difference in whether you thrive or you survive.

I'm not saying comparison has no place, but if you are going to compare to someone, compare to yourself!

Focus on how far you have come, and how far you need to go to reach your goals, not how far others have come and how far behind them you are.

When I find myself swooning over the exotic vacation so and so just took, I remind myself that we could've done that, but instead we spent the first year of our marriage taking all extra cash and paying off student loan debt.

I remind myself of how it feels to have that debt paid off, and suddenly that exotic vacation doesn't sound so great anymore.

Constantly remind yourself why you are doing what you're doing, otherwise you'll lose focus and get caught in the comparison game- which you will NEVER win.

If you are going to compare, do it to motivate yourself.

In particular, use it to get your financial life in order. Use it to create change.

If you don't like where you are at, do something different. Take responsibility for your actions and then take action.

Get out of debt. Stop using credit cards. Stop buying things you can't afford. Start living on a budget. 

Do these things so that you DO have more freedom.

I listen to a lot of podcasts, and all the self-made millionaires that I hear talk never seem to say they got there by accident.

In fact, most of them didn't even inherit any money at all. ZERO. 

They became wealthy by being INTENTIONAL with their money.

Know what happens when you become intentional with your money?

You begin to care less and less about what other people think! 

I'm learning the freedom that is found in contentment every day through prayer and learned habits.

God has provided me with far more than I deserve, and that is something to rejoice in.